A hand,
delicate but strong,
milky white,
a piercing shade of blue pigment coating the nails
A ring,
a thin band of silver,
simple scrollwork its only embellishment,
slightly twisted on the middle finger
of the hand with nails of blue
A piece of cloth,
a soft silk,
the same shade of blue as the pigment-coated nails,
the sleeve of a robe,
white piping an inch from the edge
which is an inch from the milky-white wrist
attached to the hand with nails of blue
A pack of cigarettes,
Kamel Red Lights,
"Kamel with a 'K' ",
reached for by the hand with nails of blue,
which extracts one,
lights one,
takes a long, soothing drag,
and places it in the nearby ashtray,
an ashtray a piercing shade of blue
A milky white hand,
its nails neatly trimmed,
but something is missing,
there is no blue
The hand with the ring reaches for a bottle,
a bottle filled with a piercing shade of blue,
and applies the pigment,
with a well practiced hand,
to the hand which lacks the blue
The cigarette has burned up,
the newly-painted hand reaches
brings it up for the last drag
and puts it out
The hand reaches nearby,
to a disk of silver,
a mirror,
holds it up in front of a face
A face,
with a strong forehead,
thick eyebrows,
a "Fred Durst" goatee,
chisled cheek-bones,
and mournful eyes
A pair of eyes,
a deep shade of green,
sad and sleepy,
staring at the face in the mirror,
at the lips on that face
The lips,
thin and pale,
pulled into a frown,
and they move,
"This is the real me" they say,
"This is the man I am"
The hand puts the mirror down,
on a table,
near a bed,
the ring is set down beside it
The robe comes off,
revealing a body most men would be proud to call their own,
powerful arms,
sculpted chest,
toned midsection
The body lies down in the bed,
relaxes itself,
and in the moment just before sleep
the lips utter "This is how I live..."
The hands come up to the eyes,
cover them,
shield them,
and as the body rolls to one side,
it becomes apparent that the pillow is wet,
wet with the tears of a man who must lie,
keep his true self hidden,
just to keep the life which he does not really want
but the only one he can have...
