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Ya know...this is really starting to piss me off.
First it started as all my female friends asking me what to do about their guy problems. And this was BEFORE I came out. Maybe they were ahead of me on that. Then again, after I came out, it just escalated.
Then, since I was the resident fag in my circle of friends, all the guys started asking me about thier girlfriends. Ok, I'm NOT a girl, how the fuck am I supposed to know what's goin through their minds???? WTF??
Now, I'm the resident relationship counselor for most of my friends. Well, admittedly, some of my friends I offered the service to, but most of them are now abusing the privilege. Who died and made me Mother Love??
Now, I'm stuck with 2 guys who want to break up with each other, and asking me in confidence if they should. WTF? HOW am I supposed to answer that one... I think they INTENTIONALLY try to make this hard.
And then there is the breeder couple that never was, crying on my shoulder about how they were alone and IGNORING me when I tell both of them they should get together.
And the other breeder mutual-fuck-toy couple where the chick is crying on my shoulder cause she thinks she's losing him. HELLO, you were fuck buddies, you told me this a thousand fucking times, GET OVER IT.
Then there is the case of the runaway boyfriend. These 2 guys were never sexually compatible, every time I saw them, they weren't happy, and now one is trying to decide if he still wants the runaway. COME ON NOW, I think this is an easy one, DROP HIM ALREADY.
And then there is BCX. BCX, the local slut of the decade, keeps crying on my shoulder about how alone he is. WELL, if you wouldn't solely chase twinks, and ignore anyone who isn't "tall, blonde, and hung", you might find someone worth sticking with. Oh, and that whole "looking for a hookup every chance you get" shit doesn't raise your chances of finding someone who wants to date you, just so you know.
Oh, and before my point is COMPLETELY lost, you guys are coming to a fag who couldnt get a date if his life depended on it for relationship advice? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE SMOKING? AND WHY ARENT YOU SHARING? Maybe if I had some of that, I wouldn't be as pissy as I am currently.
Gee, ya think??
